


exhale

by transbuck



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Gen, Trans Buck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 19:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18037481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transbuck/pseuds/transbuck
Summary: Now, Buck had wanted to see his sister again, but he never wanted the first time he sees her in three years to be when they're both completely naked. To be fair to himself, though, he had literally no reason to think that the woman in his shower was anyone but his estranged girlfriend.





	exhale

**Author's Note:**

> hey there! heres something a little different than my usual shippy fics! an anon earlier today sent me an ask on tumblr suggesting trans buck, and, as someone whos super trans and super bi, that idea just made my heart go doki doki super hard. i've been trying to work on my buddie fics tonight, but i cant stop thinking about different headcanons for trans buck so.... ta da! also!! all my headcanons for trans buck (so far, at least) can be found right [here](https://diazbuckley.tumblr.com/post/183301905063/thoughts-on-trans-buck). this fic doesnt really mention much of the stuff thats on that list beyond his transition and the relationship he has with his mother but :shrugs:  
> i could totally blather on and on about how important buck being trans is to me, but i really don't have the time for that right here (feel free to ask me on tumblr @diazbuckley to blabber on about it tho).  
> anyway! i hope yall enjoy this, and if it gets more people to adore the idea of buck being trans, then im doing my job right >:3c (@911 writers, make him bi and trans, cowards)

Now, Buck had wanted to see his sister again, but he never wanted the first time he sees her in three years to be when they're both completely naked. To be fair to himself, though, he had literally no reason to think that the woman in his shower was anyone but his estranged girlfriend. Accidentally flashing his older sister is one hell of a way to reveal that he finally got bottom surgery.

He lets himself get a little lost in his thoughts as he cooks dinner for the two of them. He thinks about how great it is that he finally gets to see his sister again. It's been about three years since he had last so much as  _heard_ from her, and it's been some of the loneliest years of his life. A lot's happened since Maddie had been around, some bad things, some good things, and some great things. All of those things would've been a little bit better if he had had his big sister by his side through it all, but he can't change the past.

Buck starts to space off a little when Maddie finally enters the kitchen and makes herself comfortable at the island. "So," she says, startling Buck out of the trance he had been falling into. He turns his head to look at her. "I guess you finally have a dick now, huh?"

Buck groans, cheeks flushing a little as he shakes his head to himself. "I, uh, most certainly do," he says, glancing down at the scar on his forearm, tracing it absently. He hates the scar, but it was a small price he had to pay to finally feel more comfortable in his own body.

"When'd that happen?" Maddie asks quietly.

"A few months after the last time we talked," Buck says, turning away from her. He doesn't mean for it to come out as bitter as it sounds.

A heavy silence falls over them as Buck plates their food. "I'm sorry," Maddie murmurs after a while, voice thick with emotion. "It kills me that I couldn't be there to support you through all that. I'm so happy for you, though. I know you'd been dying to have that surgery for years."

Buck lets out a soft huff of laughter, turns toward Maddie again and hands her a plate. "Yeah. Yeah, when I finally healed from it, I was... Man, I was over the moon," he says with a smile. Maddie gives him an odd look, studies him with a lopsided grin on her face. "What?" he asks, starting to feel self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Nothing. Just... You look different. Good different," Maddie replies after a moment before sliding off the island seat and meandering toward the living room. She makes herself comfortable on the couch immediately, and if Buck didn't know any better, he'd think she owned the place.

Buck throws his eyebrows up a bit and trails after Maddie. "Well, it  _has_ been a few years since we last saw each other. The hormones have kinda changed me a little bit," he says, plopping down next to her.

"No, I don't mean literally. Well, you have changed literally, but I knew that. I've been getting your Christmas and birthday cards the last few years and I've seen your pictures on Facebook," Maddie replies. Buck frowns a little. "And I'm sorry I never sent anything back or whatever. I wish I could take back the last few years, but that's not the point."

"Okay, then what  _is_ the point?"

"You just... You look..." Maddie huffs a little. "I can't quite think of the words. You look more... sure of yourself? Does that make sense?" Buck tilts his head a little at her. "God, how do I even describe it? I guess you look like you've finally found your footing, y'know? Like, before you transitioned, you seemed almost like you were holding your breath. You seemed to always be sort of on edge and uncomfortable. But now? Now, you look like you're finally breathing. I don't want to say you're glowing because that's super cliche, but you're  _glowing_. And I couldn't be happier for you."

Buck blushes a little, ducks his head and glances away. He's never really thought about it, but she's right. He finally feels comfortable in himself. There's still a bit of residual discomfort from every single time he speaks to their mother, but overall, he feels  _happy_. Truly and genuinely happy. Like every moment in his life has been leading up to this feeling. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm so proud of you, little brother," Maddie says, reaching over to gently ruffle his hair. He laughs and bats her hand away.

"I'm proud of you, too, Mads," Buck says sincerely. Maddie smiles crookedly up at him. "I'm glad to have you back in my life."

"I'm glad to be back in it," Maddie murmurs. "Especially glad I finally left that asshole."

"Seriously?" Maddie nods. "Jeez, Mads. It's about time."

"Tell me about it," Maddie grumbles, stabs her fork into her food a little more violent than necessary. "Anyway. What's up with you? This place is  _nice_. And it's _clean_. And you cooked! Who knew you could cook without burning the house down?"

Buck laughs breathlessly and rolls his eyes. It almost feels like she had never disappeared from his life. They're so easily returning to the comfortable conversation that they so easily made before, and that makes Buck happy. Finally having his big sister around to help him navigate life is exactly what he's been needing. They can talk about more serious things later, like how long she plans on being in LA for. For now, he's fine with getting teased a little.


End file.
